Occasionally in this dirty business of war, we must resort to confusion. When the battlefield lies strewn with the corpses of our brothers-in-arms, and the legions of the ignorant continue to advance unimpeded in spite of our superior weaponry, we must slow them and bide time for another assault. That’s where this latest word comes in. Employ this baby when all else fails.
Like a flash grenade, it will leave them stunned and befuddled. With its sheer redundant complexity in describing something so simple and common, they’ll scratch their heads and tear their hair out wondering why? Why? Why does such a word exist?
I ask you, fellow warriors, why not?
Without any more preamble then, here it goes:
Greetings, noble scribes! I interrupt the regularly scheduled Word Arsenal programming with news of the greatest significance. In my relentless and fevered pursuit of le mot juste, my epic and endless peregrinations over the vast wasteland of interweb hooey, I have stumbled onto a tool that threatens to tip the scales of balance in our ongoing war. I daresay it could make poets of us all! (more…)
Ladies and gentlemen, round six is upon us! There’s been a lull in the fighting of late, and the enemy has grown complacent. Across the field, beyond the bloated corpses of the fallen, we can see the lambent light of fires hovering over their trenches, hear the singing and laughter of their soldiers. They mock us. They think our words incapable of harming them, of breaching their redoubt of ignorance. (more…)
I take no pleasure in delivering this nasty little word to you. Actually it’s not so little – do the Germans have any words under 13 letters? – but it is in rather poor taste. It’s a deviant word, really. Downright sadistic. But war is a messy business, and we can’t stand by watching the other buggers enrich uranium without cooking some up ourselves. Unless they don’t know what they’re doing, of course. In that case it might be fun to watch.
Okay, okay, on with it. Word number 5 is: (more…)
It’s round four in the word war – time to break out the big guns. It’s all about superior firepower in this installment. Feeling like that first guy who brought a gun to a sword fight, or a cannon to a castle wall. This word is like having a bazooka on your shoulder when the savages are charging on horseback. You feel pretty good about your chances, I think, calm, unperturbed by the wild ululations of the painted-faced hordes. You watch with mild amusement, disdain, even, as they raise their spears and shake fists at you, and then… fwoosh! Splat. Horse bits raining down, a fine red mist in the air.
That’s what this word is all about: (more…)